SPOILERS-After Season Finale
SUMMARY-Tristin ponders Rory and a lost loved one
RATING-PG-13
CONTENT-Swearing
CHARACTERS-Tristin and Rory
DISCLAIMER-I don’t own anything, Gilmore Girls or anything. It belongs to the WB.


Cold Steps

by Becca


"He’s not my boyfriend. I hate him!" "I love you ,you idiot!" Six months, Six months ago those words floated across the yard and cut Tristin DuGray deep.

Stunned he put down her books, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore’s books as she professed her love to him, that country boy, that lucky as hell country boy. He buttoned his coat jacket and slowly turned and walked away. Away from the one girl he had wanted and realized he would never have to hold in his arms. As he speed home the slick roads caused him to spin as he rounded the corner by the cliff line. He stopped the car and walked to the rocky edge and stared at the PJ Harvey tickets he had been clenching sense the left Chilton. Slowly he opened his hand and watched the tickets dance across the wind and to the base, sprinkled with rocks. Then slowly he sat down and did something he told him self he would never do again, Tristin DuGray cried for the one girl he had ever really loved.

Tristin shook his head as to clear his thoughts as he sat on the cold steps of Chilton Prep School. He gripped the warm coffee and looked at the snow covered grounds of Chilton. Everything was silent, everyone was at home gathered around their Christmas tree giving hugs and kisses as they exchanged gifts. Happy families sitting down to a warm homemade breakfast. Everyone but him. The Holidays were always stressful for the DuGray family. He couldn’t bare the fighting of his "perfect parents". So he had made himself coffee, kissed his mother good-bye and told her he was going out. He was sure that his mother was instructing the maids how to do everything for the Christmas party that night and his father was in his office working, both not caring where he was. They always kept themselves bust at this time. Tristin slowly reached into this coat pocket and grabbed this wallet. He then slowly opened it and pulled out a worn piece of paper and picture of a little blonde girl. The folded paper contained a drawing of a house with flowers and trees and his family outside. Scrawled beneath were the wobbly letters of a seven year old. I love you Tristin love Gretchen. He thought back to when his innocent little sister would climb into his bed at night with her blanket in hand searching for comfort from the nightmares or the fighting parents. He thought back to the kisses she would give him when he got home from school and when she went to bed. And then he thought to the Christmas morning two fateful years ago when Tristin presented Gretchen with a cocker spaniel puppy. And how her eyes lit up as she got slobbery kisses from the eager puppy. And then he thought to that night when that puppy, now named Sugar, ran into the street and his darling, caring sister darted after. He remembered the lights and the brakes and hearing himself screaming "NO!!!!!". That was the night Tristin DuGray held his little angel in his arms on the cold pavement and watched her slip away to heaven, where angels should be.

Tristin again tried to clear his thoughts of his weak sister whispering in his ear on that night " Tristin, I love you", But everywhere he looked he saw something that reminded him of the two girls he loved. The snow, the night Gretchen died, how the snow flakes clung to her cheeks. All of Chilton, teasing Rory and just being with her.

He then realized how the girls he loved were so much alike. They both had an innocence about them. Both could be quite and serene but when they wanted to they could be fiery. And both girls and stolen his heart, and then crushed it.

Tristin leaned his tousled blonder hair against the cold, stone wall and thought about how he had been such a jerk, such a damn jerk to Rory. But that’s what he did, he put up his shield, he didn’t want to hurt. He had pushed her away, she had never came toward him. His thoughts then drifted to the day before Christmas break.

" Hey Rory," Tristin said coolly as he leaned on the lockers.

" What?"

Rory exclaimed whipping around. To Tristin the world seemed to slow down, her chocolate curls bounced and somewhat covered her cheek. Her sapphire eyes sparkled and her cheeks were still rosy from the cold. Her lips parted slowly watching him, waiting for some coy answer.

"I said hi Rory, I do know your name you know."

"What a shock!"

"Funny funny girl," Tristin smiled.

" Yeah well I Oded on humor today at breakfast so beware!" Rory joked back. Tristin smiled slowly and looked into her eyes. She was silent and stared back. * What…………. * And then Rory shook her head and started to babble.

"Well we got to get to test…I mean class…for the test…and then home and… and…"

Rory went to close her locker. "Hey Mary hold it!" Tristin said as he quickly grabbed her history book out of her locker.

" You might need this."

"Umm yeah right book would help…thanks," Rory said as she look at him confused.

Tristin looked at her and could tell she was thinking hard. * Wonder what she’s thinking? * * Something’s different about him, how he said "Mary" it was weird, caring? God Rory your delusional! *

"Blue ball-point pen for your thoughts?" Tristin asked.

"Oh, ummm just thinking about how much I love Christmas!" Rory recovered. She watched his face turn ashen.

"Tristin…?"

"Lets go to class we are gonna be late." He stated quietly.

Tears rolled down his cheeks as he gazed at the picture drawn lovingly two years ago for his Christmas present. Sure his parents added a TV along but the picture is what he cherished the most. At this thought he drifted off to sleep.

Seven thirty that night.

Tristin woke shivering he looked at the pictures on the steps beside him. Sobs tore through him. Suddenly he heard his voice quietly.

"Tristin."

He couldn’t believe it, it was Gretchen's voice. When he looked up he saw Rory Gilmore walking toward him.

"Tristin." This time the voice was of the second girl he loved.

"Oh, Gretchen…" he whispered in sorrow

"Tristin!" Rory’s voice grew in panic as she saw him crying silently.

" Rory…." His voice came softly as he stood. She took him in her arms and gently kissed his trembling lips. "I love you…" they echoed each other. Rory then cuddled up against his beating heart and watched the snow fall. And as the two walked away from the snow coverd grounds Tristin looked at the cold steps and quitly whispered" I love you Gretch"



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