disclaimer in part 1

Going Home

by snoflaik

When the rug has been pulled out from under you...


Rory wanted to watch the show. She found it intriguing to watch them fall
all over him. Intriguing and incredibly stupid. Didn’t they know anything?
Flirting outright with a guy was not the way to get him. Especially if that
guy was Tristin. Couldn’t they tell all his charm was the result of finely
toned acting skills?

It had kind of become and inside joke between them. She stood off, far
enough that no one noticed her there. But he always knew when she was
around. She could tell by the twinkle in his eye and the smile that was
always placed subtly in her direction. She saw ‘her’ coming down the hall.
The Player of the Day.

“Hey there,” said the actress as she came up to stand right beside him as he
was searching through his locker.

And then it all changed.

He didn’t even turn around to look at her. “Hey,” came the uninterested
response.

She, however, was not to be thwarted so easily. She hid her surprise with a
fake smile as she leaned against the next locker and tried again.

“So what are you doing this weekend?” she asked batting her eyelashes.

“Going to a museum.” He replied finally turning around to look at her.

Rory gasped. The twinkle was gone. The blank look in his eyes contradicted
the smile on his face.

“Oh really,” she replied leaning in closer, not noticing the look. “And
would anyone be joining you on your little trip?” she asked coyly.

“Of course,” he replied smiling wider, pouring on the charm.

“Oh and who would that be?” she asked playing along.

“Probably someone other than you,” he answered. The smile was gone and his
face became unreadable. The girl stood there with her mouth gaping open and
her eyes wide.

Rory watched the girl, still in shock, finally walk back down the hall as
Tristin turned back to his locker.

She walked over to him, “Wasn’t that was little harsh?” she asked somewhat
angry

“I’m just so God damn tired of pretending all the time.” he replied as he
slammed the locker shut and walked away. Leaving another gaping girl in his
wake.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Why is it so hard? “ began Tristin as he paced back in forth, “No one in
that school knows who I am. Hell I’ve gone to school with the same kids for
12 years. 12 years of my life and we are all strangers. I’m just so tired of
playing their stupid shallow games. They don’t mean anything. They are
pointless. The result of pettiness and selfishness and boredom. It’s all
just fucking lies. All of it. A tool to hide the insecurities, the sadness,
the boredom, the loneliness, the pain, the fucking cold and emptiness that
everyone is filled by. You don’t get it. And you never would. Your life has
been completely different than ours. We are all the same. But somehow I’m
different too. And it’s all because of you. You’ve changed me. You’ve shown
me your world and made me believe that I can share in it. But you know what?
I can’t. I can’t be like you. It’s not that fucking simple. I can’t change
my past. I can only live and learn from it. I can’t even move on. Not when
I’ve been stuck in the same place for so long. Why is all so difficult?
Why?” He asked with all the emotion he was feeling at that moment. He
finally stopped pacing to look at the girl who sat at the base of the tree
listening to him rant and rave.

“I don’t know Tristin.” She answered quietly. He was lost and she had no
idea how to help him. “You don’t have to pretend anymore. Just be yourself.”

“Who is that Rory?” he asked as he sat down in a heap onto the grass in
front of her. He reached down and started picking at it frustrated. He then
looked straight at her. “I don’t have a clue,” he added bowing his head into
his hands.

Rory didn’t know what to say. She thought she knew who he was. She had
always known he was different from what everyone else thought he was. He was
so much more than he let on. But she quickly realized that she didn’t know
him at all. As much as he opened himself up to her and trusted her, his
true self was hidden deep down inside. So far even he couldn’t find it
anymore.

They sat there in silence. He finally looked up again at her. She was
looking down deep in thought. He smiled at her. She was trying so hard to
help him. But they both knew that there was nothing she could do.

“Enough of my sad ‘poor me’ rich boy saga. I know you don’t really want to
hear about all my problems,” said Tristin

“How can you say that?” replied Rory with passion in her voice, “How can you
say that I don’t care about your problems? The stumblings along the path
make us who we are. They make you change. They make you learn. They become
part of you. And I care about you. All of you.”

Tristin had no idea how to reply to this sudden passionate outburst. He had
meant his comment as a joke. Not meaning to say that she didn’t care about
him.

“I’m sorry, Rory. I didn’t mean it that way. I just wanted to change the
subject,” he said gently.

Rory sighed. “Sorry, I jumped all over you. I just have a lot on my mind
now.”

“Dean?”

“One of many. I just don’t know what to do.”

“I’m really not the best person to be taking advice from but I’ll try and
help if I can.”

“I think it’s beyond help. I mean this isn’t like a one time discussion
between us. He’s told me over and over again how he doesn’t trust you and
how he thinks there more going on than friendship. And I keep denying it and
the subject gets dropped without anything being resolved. It’s just one big
cycle. And he just put an end to it. I will not stop being friends with you.
Not for anything in the world. But what does that say then? What does that
say about our relationship? It’s more important than my relationship with a
guy I supposedly love. I’m just so confused,” ended Rory sadly.

*Maybe it says more than your willing to admit.* thought Tristin to himself.
“I don’t know what to tell you, Rory.” replied Tristin, quietly, “I don’t
have much experience with this sort of thing.”

“You’re here. That’s enough for me,” replied Rory with a little smile.

continues