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Summary: Companion to “To Be Alive.” Paris watches Tristan and Rory together and muses. Paris POV.
Notes: I think Paris has a thing for Tristan and I think she’d be jealous if Tristan and Rory ever got together, but I don’t think she’s evil, so keep that in mind.
by Jill Dannay
I don’t remember a time I wasn’t in love with him.
We were never friends, never even close, but we got along well enough. I always thought that one day he’d see me, really see me, and he’d fall as hard for me as I’d fallen for him.
Instead he fell for her.
here’s nothing really wrong with her, no real reason for me to hate her or treat her the way I have, except that she’s the first real competition I’ve had in two years, not only to be valedictorian, but also to take Tristan’s heart. He was entranced with her from the moment he saw her. He was rude and obnoxious and called her “Mary,” but I could see him falling for her a little more every day.
Everyone says Tristan saved her life. He pushed her down and took a bullet in the chest for her, and since then, they’ve been inseparable. She certainly seems happy with him. Doesn’t seem to regret breaking up with her old boyfriend at all.
Tristan bought tickets to the dance we’re having on Friday. He was smiling as he asked for the two tickets he wanted. “See you there, Paris,” he told me as I gave him his change. He turned and called “Rory!” down the hall, eager to show her the tickets, eager to be with her. “Yeah,” I said, “see you there, Tristan.” He didn’t hear me. He didn’t hear anything. Everything he had was focused on her.
I wonder if that’s what true love is. He smiles when he sees her. Her eyes light up when she sees him. They talk to each other, always sharing secrets and laughing, as if nothing else in the world matters. As if nothing-and no one-else exists.
Since she became “Tristan’s girl,” she’s made some friends here at Chilton, though I know Tristan spends time with her friends from Star’s Hollow, too. When Tristan took that bullet, he wasn’t just saving her life. He was making her the most popular girl in school, the girl everyone else wanted to be near. He was making her his equal here.
They’re going to be named couple of the year for the yearbook. They do seem very happy together. I just wish he could have been happy with me.
He’s in love with Rory Gilmore. She’s in love with him. And I have to be the bigger person here.
“Hi, Rory,” I say as I pass them in the hall. “Hi, Tristan.”
Rory stares at me for a moment, obviously confused and shocked, before cautiously echoing Tristan’s “Hi, Paris” and continuing towards class. I watch as they go. Rory glances back at me, still bewildered and probably expecting a bomb to go off in front of her, but Tristan doesn’t look back-just tightens his arm around her shoulder. Rory turns back around and smiles up at him, reaching up to give him a quick kiss as they continue on their way.
Tristan and I were never really friends. If I can’t have him to love me, I at least want a chance to have him as a friend. And if he’s fallen that hard for Rory, she can’t be that bad. I can put aside my feelings.
But I can’t imagine not loving him.